


Ask Me Again Never

by butterflysandbullets



Category: MorMor - Fandom, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: 5+1 Things, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mental Health Issues, Same-Sex Marriage, mention of murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 17:06:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8293421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflysandbullets/pseuds/butterflysandbullets
Summary: 5+1Marriage proposals.





	

The night of Sebastian Moran's eighteenth birthday, he asked James Moriarty to marry him. Jim had been sick for a bit and had checked out of reality for two months. Seb had sat by his side the entire time, taking care of him, helping make sure he got to his classes, did his work. He made sure he ate and drank and slept. His own class work suffered. He wasn’t putting in any time in the gym and his teammates began to notice the difference in him. But Seb had made a promise to Jim. He would take care of him for as long as he needed too. And for Seb that was forever.

 

Jim came back to him that day, his fog lifting and he told Seb that he was a shitty boyfriend. He had forgotten about his birthday and he had forgotten about a lot of things at that point. But either way, Jim was back and Sebastian couldn’t have been happier.

 

They were in bed, cuddled around each other in a post orgasmic haze. Seb’s smile was large. Jim’s smaller body was leeching the warmth from Sebastian’s skin. Their tender pillow talk had been tear inducing for the both of them. They reaffirmed how much they loved and needed each other. And Sebastian hadn’t intended to ask. He had the idea in the back of his mind for a long time, but he just opened his mouth and the words came tumbling out. He didn’t regret it. Even after Jim turned him down. What he did regret was that he felt as if he wasn’t enough for Jim. That he hadn’t done enough and wasn’t that just a telling moment in their relationship.

 

Sebastian tried to listen to Jim’s reasons. But they made no sense to him. It wasn’t legal. It could only be a civil partnership. Sebastian didn’t want to be tied down to someone like Jim. Jim was sick and would be sick forever. Mental health wasn’t something to take lightly. It had been only six months since they found each other on the quad at school… it wasn’t right. Sebastian didn’t want this. He just wanted to ensure that Jim wouldn’t leave him. Seb didn’t say a word. He just listened to Jim’s reasons until he found himself nodding along. He just agreeing with Jim for the sake of ending the conversation.

 

But Sebastian had been serious. He wanted to marry Jim. He wanted to spend the rest of his life looking at the dark haired man had fallen in love with and to call him his husband. To wear a ring on his hand and smile at Jim in a knowing way. But Jim didn’t want it and he didn’t want Sebastian to want it either. Or at least that’s what Sebastian’s mind turned it into. He finally kissed Jim goodnight and never mentioned it again.

  
  
  
  
  


The second time that Sebastian asked, it wasn’t planned either. Sebastian’s father demanded that both Jim and Seb join him for Christmas. At the manor house in their final year of school. Jim and Seb agreed, although it wasn’t an easy thing for either of them. They managed to make the drive out to the country. They found that Lord Moran was hosting his annual Christmas Eve dinner. If Jim hadn’t ever felt out of place before, he did that evening.

 

But it was during the annual speech that Sebastian felt as if he had been hit by a truck. He father asked him to join him for the speech and he dropped a bombshell on the room. Lord Moran had agreed for Sebastian to marry a horse faced girl. The daughter of a business colleague. Sebastian felt bad for the girl. Her face had been so expectant. She was so blissful in her admiration for Sebastian’s good looks and money. But Seb had shut it down.

 

In a rare moment of true breeding, Sebastian spoke to the crowd. He said he was sure that the young lady was lovely. But she had been mislead. Sebastian was not single, nor was he interested in a marriage contract. He outed himself in one breath and turned his gaze to meet Jim’s across the room. The words were clear and ringing as Sebastian explained that he only wanted to marry one person.  If Jim would be kind enough to say yes, then they would celebrate their engagement that evening.

 

Jim walked calmly out of the room after only giving Sebastian a shake of his head. He said no again. And Sebastian was left standing next to his father, every eye in the room cast upon him as he was rejected. Once again. He smiled patiently as he walked out in search of Jim. Their words, said in anger were heated and tear filled.

 

Jim had been embarrassed that Sebastian had done that to him and Sebastian was hurt. Once again Jim’s reasons were the same. Sebastian began to wonder if Jim loved him with the same passion that Sebastian loved Jim. Jim packed his bag and managed a ride to the train and back to their small flat. He arrived before the church bells rang out midnight and the arrival of Christmas. Sebastian walked into the flat two hours later.  Curling up around Jim, his body and lips finding every way he knew how to apologise to the man he loved. But sleep didn’t come to him that night either.

  
  
  
  
  


The third time Seb had tried to get Jim to marry him, was a little more planned out. Seb had joined the Army in a moment of panic and fear, a year after their graduation from Oxford. He and Jim had a fight. Sebastian had held himself responsible for Jim’s recent hospitalisation. He had hurt Jim so badly that he ended up needing medical attention. And Seb panicked.

 

He came back to the small flat they shared in London after his first leave. Basic training behind him and the prospect of heading off to a foreign post looming over him. Seb had been researching the benefits that Jim could receive as his legal partner. This time he presented a proposal in the form of a business transaction. Medical benefits. Housing. Pension. Death benefits. Seb laid it  all out on the small table in their kitchen. He explained that he promised he would take care of Jim forever and it was logical that they did this. Sebastian would never have to worry about him. He would be taken care of.

 

Jim turned him down flat, once again. Seb said nothing. He nodded and gathered up all the papers he had put together. He tore them to shreds after Jim left the room, tears rolling down his face. Three times he had asked and three times, he was turned down. He believed in the power of numbers and three was a big thing for him. He knew that three strikes in baseball and you were out. Three wishes from a lamp. Triads… he could go on and on. But in Seb’s head, he was finished. That was going to be the last time he asked. Jim had rejected him for the last time.

 

Seb stepped onto the train to take him back to base, alone. Jim hadn’t come to see him off and Sebastian felt as if he had lost.

  
  
  


The fourth time, Seb was out of his head. He had been home from service for about two weeks. He had been a mess. PTSD. Nightmares. Injuries that played up when the weather turned. BUt he had moved back in with Jim and they were beginning to relearn what it was like to be together again.

 

The night had been bad for Sebastian. He had screamed and cried through most of it. He sat on the floor in the bedroom, curled up in a ball as Jim sat on the edge of the bed, watching him. He was cautious, quiet, observing. Seb’s shaking had subsided and they were both tired. Jim had been away, a business trip he had said and only had come back late the previous evening. Seb hadn’t done well with Jim gone, but he had tried. And now, he looked at Jim, the pain on his face plain. Jim felt his heart lurch with his own pain and Seb’s voice was low and gruff when he did finally speak.

 

Jim shook his head. He told him that he wouldn’t marry him. Not when he asked like this. That Seb didn’t need to ask to try and hold onto Jim. Jim was his and he loved him. But Sebastian’s twisted mind couldn’t understand the words. He nodded in his defeat and curled into the wall.

 

Jim left him in the bedroom and told Seb he had to go into work. That he had to file his report from his trip but he would be back in a few hours. Seb worked on releasing his pain through small strips of open skin, razor sharp cuts into his thighs. Jim went out and killed two men with his own hands. He cried through his pain as he watched their blood run cold into the gutter.

  
  


The one time that Sebastian didn’t ask Jim it was because Jim asked him. The night before Jim would meet with Sherlock, Jim found himself at Seb's bedside. Seb was in another hospital room in another part of London. Jim’s madness had finally taken it’s toll. He had used Sebastian’s own gun, the one that would end Jim in a matter of hours, and shot him. He had regretted the action immediately. Sebastian had a forgiving nature for everything Jim had ever done to him. And that had only made things worse.  Jim held his hand and looked into the trusting blue eyes. Sebastian had no idea what Jim had been planning. He had no idea that Jim had been working on his own death and if he had… he would have never let him go.

 

But in the dim light of the room, Sebastian rested . His body healing and fighting from Jim’s assault. Jim leaned down and kissed his lover’s head before watching his eyes find his own again. He asked Sebastian in the quietest words Seb had ever heard, to marry him.  Sebastian had  wondered if he had been hearing things. Jim’s fingers laced with his own and he smiled down at the man who had stood by his side for so long. Who had cared for him and loved him with his entire heart and being.

 

Sebastian told Jim that he loved him but no. He wouldn’t marry him. Seb had explained that Jim was only asking out of some sort of misplaced guilt. And Seb wasn’t sure how much of Jim was there with him at the moment. He had gotten so used to living with Moriarty. He had seen most of the man he had fallen in love with years earlier in a small hotel in Dublin disappear. And once Sebastian got home and settled, Jim left for the roof. And he took his life. And Sebastian’s as well.

  
  
  


Four years after Jim put a gun in his mouth, Sebastian turned 39 years old. Jim had told him that he was taking him out to dinner for his birthday.  Sebastian had decided that one more time… he would try. After all, he believed in the power of numbers. Twenty one years since the first time. His fifth time… it was logical to Sebastian. And if Jim said no this time, Seb would club him over the head and drag him to the registrar.

 

Jim sat at the dinner table in the darken restaurant, waiting for the moment that Seb got a phone call. One that would present him with his birthday gift. Seb’s eyes grew wide when he learned that his father was dead. Mugged and shot because even in his dotage the old man wouldn’t give up his wallet. Sebastian got up and kissed Jim,  deeply. He knew that it wasn’t a random mugging and he smiled at his partner.

 

Sebastian reached into his pocket and got back into his chair. He looked across the table at Jim and then down at the expensive china. His face got serious and Jim’s head tilted in concern.

 

“What is it, Tiger?” he asked soothingly.

“Lord Moran.”

“What about him? He’s gone. Don’t you like your gift?” Jim asked, concern lacing his words.

“Oh. I do. Very much so. It’s just, well… I’m Lord Moran now.” he said.

“You’ve always been more of a king to me… but yes. You are.”

“Do you remember the first birthday of mine we spent together?” Seb asked, quietly. Jim nodded, his own gaze flickering away from the table for a moment as he recalled how bad he had been then. “Twenty one years ago.”

“Yes. You’ve… you’ve put up with so much pain from me Sebastian. I’m sorry for that.”

“Jim… I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. I… I told you I wouldn’t leave. I told you that I would love you forever. The moment you stole my heart… the one I gave you willingly, I was in this for life.”

“Sentimental fool.” Jim said with a small smile. “I love you as well. You are too good for me.”

“I’m not. But nonetheless… we’ve been together a long time. Things are changing out there in world. And… maybe it’s time we changed things in our world too.” Jim looked at Seb, confused.

“What are you talking about, Sebastian?”

Seb took a deep breath. He reached for Jim’s hand. “I love you. I can’t ever tell you that enough. And I know you love me. But Jim… I want one thing. I want one thing from you and I’ve got my reasons. I know it’s something you’ve always said that you didn’t want. But in all our years together, it’s the one thing that I’ve always wanted and you’ve always denied me. It’s stupid in a way. But it’s something… I don’t want to go on without asking you once more.” Jim shifted a bit in his seat. He knew what Seb was about to to. And he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Seb licked his lips. “Don’t think about it. Just answer me. The first thing that pops into your head.” Jim nodded.

 

“James Moriarty, you are my life. My love and my everything. Nothing will change that. Nothing will make me leave you. And if you say no… the words will never fall from my lips again. I swear that to you. BUt… I have to ask. Will you do me the honour of being my husband? Will you marry me Jim?” Seb asked holding up a small silver ring in the light. It was two vines twisted together to make a stronger branch. Delicate and slender,  much like the man it was given to. Strong and unbroken.  Much like their love.

 

Jim smiled and rolled his eyes. “Yes. Of course.” he said. Seb’s face twisted. He was surprised. He was sure he was going to be turned down again.

 

“What?”

“I said yes, you dolt. Now… let’s get some champagne. And something chocolate.” Jim smiled at Seb and looked at the ring still held in Seb’s fingers. He wiggled his hand in Seb’s. “Well? ARe you going to put it on me or do I have to do it all?” Seb shook his head and smiled, sliding the ring onto Jim’s finger.  He leaned across the table and Jim’s hand rested on Seb’s cheek. Seb turned his head and pressed his lips to Jim’s pulse point.

 

After the champagne was drank, the chocolate cake eaten and the pair went back to their flat. They managed to make it back to the bed before they gave each other mind blowing orgasms. Seb held Jim against his chest, pressing his lips to the dark hair.

 

“Why now?” Seb asked. Jim hummed in question. “Why after twenty one years of me asking did you finally say yes?”

“This time you had a ring, moron.” Jim said.

 


End file.
